it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
