Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I want a musical about memes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
