DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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