I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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