Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
