Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
