Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Vodka?
Forever.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
