trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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