she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
