At least make sure they are 18
Why
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
