Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
