Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
