YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
