Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
