I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
