I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
whose ass print is on the piano?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
