Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
