I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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