i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize