dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
