Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
