Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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