have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
