There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And then my night got REAL pukey
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
