I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
