dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
