They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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