i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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