My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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