I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
