I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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