Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
