There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
