we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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