is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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