Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
