i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
