you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
