Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
