Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
