I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
