There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
