I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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