Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
