so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
