All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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