her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
