I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
