Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
4 words: hood of his car
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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