she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
